Ways To Make Sex Last Longer

How To Last Longer In Bed

There are some things in life that, inevitably, don’t last a long time. But sex… should not be one of those things. Sure, there’s a time and place for a quickie, but for the most part, sex should be an experience that is enjoyed for as long as you and your partner want, preferably with no time limit.

It’s not exactly news that it takes men less time than women to reach orgasm. And once it happens, sex is often over. After ejaculation, men go through a refractory period where they are unable to achieve another erection for a certain length of time (women have little to no refractory period). It’s normal and it varies, but it does have a way of interrupting intercourse. The only way to defer it is to delay orgasm, which is why we’ve put together a list of tips for lasting longer in bed.

1. Boost L-arginine Consumption

Amino acids are the building blocks of protein. L-arginine is an essential amino acid that can be converted to nitric oxide, which can help relax the blood vessels of the penis and increase blood flow and erection quality. It acts much in the same way current prescription drugs do. Soy and vegetables are good sources of L-arginine.

2. Put the Squeeze on Your Boys

If you’re reading articles like this, then chances are you’ve heard of the “squeeze technique” before. Basically, it refers to squeezing the penis in the area between the shaft and the glans just before ejaculation. The idea is to put a hold on the ejaculatory response and get your focus back in the game. “the squeeze” is intended to interrupt the ejaculatory process. It’s an old-school maneuver originally outlined by acclaimed sex researchers Masters and Johnson to treat premature ejaculation.

3. Focus On The Other Partner’s Pleasure To Take The Pressure Off

If things are getting too hot and heavy for the penis-haver, August recommends taking a step back and focusing the attention on the other partner’s pleasure instead. “When you stop what you’re doing once you’re super close to orgasm, then chill for a bit, then start again (sort of like sexual interval training),” arousal tends to skyrocket, explains August.

4. Limit Your Thrusting

There are plenty of ways to enjoy intercourse without thrusting like a jackrabbit. You can massage the tip of your penis into her clitoral hood. You can focus on the nerve endings in her vaginal entrance instead of seeing how deep you can get. You can press your penis against her G-spot. Sure, throw a little thrusting in there too, but if you feel like you're about to reach the point of no return, there are ways to slow things down without sacrificing her pleasure.

5. Reduce Your Sexual Anxiety

If you go into sex thinking that you won’t last very long, you won’t. Sliding in with any sort of anxiety about your sexual abilities will make you cum much faster than you want to.

And if you consider it biologically, it makes sense. The insecurity makes you anxious. Your body can tell that you’re anxious. The anxiety suggests that this isn’t a very safe environment for you to be naked with your eyes closed and unprepared to defend against one of these.

6. Hold a Sexy Q&A

Talking counts as foreplay, too. In fact, Levkoff recommends it: “There are so many great conversations that take place when we're about to be intimate,” she says. Try a sexy Q&A to get you both in the right mindset before you even touch each other. Levkoff recommends starting with the basics: What are the things that turn you on visually? Your go-to masturbation fantasy? The first movie or book you remember feeling turned on by? The back and forth can be “really fun and exciting,” in addition to slowing down the tempo from ripping your clothes off to making eye contact and listening—a whole new layer to connection.

7. Try Training For It

Seriously! If this premature finishing situation doesn’t stem from a medical issue for either one of you, it’s always possible to just try…having more sex. For some couples, it’s a matter of sexual endurance conditioning. Think of it the same way you’d go to a gym to get stronger. This is especially helpful if the partner in question doesn’t masturbate very often. I’m aware this sounds incredibly unsexy, but taking some of the novelty out of it can extend the time before an orgasm feels inevitable.

8. Distract Yourself

It’s a cliché, but there’s a kernel of truth to it: Think about sweaty gym socks — or whatever distracts you — when an orgasm is approaching. While it’s not proven, thinking non-sexual thoughts does help ignore the sensation and provide you with some time to recoup.

9. Slow Your Role

Good sex is a marathon, not a sprint. “Many guys go fast during intercourse,” says Queen. “Going slowly can be more sensuous, intimate, and pleasurable, and may make it easier to keep track of an impending orgasm.” So if you want to last longer in bed, simply try slowing down. Seriously. It’s not a race. In fact, it’s one of the few areas of life where coming in first gets you ranked last.

10. Ladies first

Many women require clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm in the first place, so while you're trying to keep your own orgasm at bay, get to work, and help her find her own bliss. Whether you use your mouth, your fingers, or a toy—hey, we recommend all three!—knowing she’s enjoyed an orgasm may relieve some of the pressure you’re feeling to last longer in bed.